Fitness Journey: The Struggle is Real

Hey all! Once again it has been forever and a day since I've written a blog post. Lately I've been very much into taking care of myself, inside and out, so I thought I would share a bit of that with you all.

My Advice:

Staying healthy can be a struggle. In a world of super-sized-deep-fried-cheezy-awesomeness...it's hard sometimes. It's hard to find motivation to workout when all you want to do is take a nap or watch Netflix all day or just snuggle with a fur baby (I want a cat so bad). But trust me, once you get up and get going, you will feel so much better about yourself. Yes, working out and eating better will make your body look "better." However, for me, my focus has been on how it makes me feel on the inside. I don't have any real goals in mind for how I want my body to look besides leaning out. Instead, I want to feel stronger, I want to be happier, I want to have my mood more balanced. Those are the goals and the feelings I get after working out that keep me going back.


I think we've all been there. New Year's comes along and everyone wants to get in better shape, eat less junk food, lose weight, and so on. Every single year I was that person. I would stick to my goal for a little while, maybe 2-4 months, and then I would just stop working out or eating healthier. Sound familiar?

What I think has changed for me this time is that I really have made a commitment to myself to do better for myself, inside and out. I've noticed when I work out regularly and try to eat healthier, I feel better prepared to mentally handle my life. My anxiety is less and my depression sees less days as well. I'm better able to cope on days where my anxiety or depression is present as well.

About a week ago, I took my commitment to a whole new level. I joined a gym. WHAT.


If you knew me, this is a huge thing to commit to. Before, I had always thought to myself, "Why pay for a gym membership when you can just work out at home?" And to some extent, I still do believe that you don't need a gym to get into shape. Especially if you're a beginner. There's so much available content now that working out at home really does work for some people.

In my case, working out at home was a good thing...but then I would find myself falling back off the wagon and not staying motivated enough to work out at home. It's easy to make excuses for yourself when you work out at home. Not that excuses don't  happen when you go to the gym, but in my case I feel I have been more motivated to work out now that I go to the gym than when I was just working out at home.

The gym at first can be a very intimidating place for someone who's new. Thankfully, my boyfriend has come with me most times and has showed me how to work a lot of the equipment there. Some of the machines are just super difficult for me to grasp, even with picture-diagrams on the machines, themselves. If you find yourself to feel a little nervous about joining a gym, find a gym buddy to go with you a few times! Also, just remember, everyone in that gym at some point or another was a newbie just like yourself.

Today was my first time going to the gym solo and I have to say I feel rather empowered. I decided I wanted to do cardio, so I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. Boom done. One of the hardest parts of working out is just getting to the gym, yoga mat, etc. Once I'm at the gym or all ready to work out, I'm generally pretty good with getting through a workout. And after working out, I feel so much better and happier and accomplished. Proud.

Supplements:

I'm still learning a whole lot about the world of supplements. Right now I take: Fish oil, B12, C and D3. All of these are taken for a different reason and I may do a different blog post about supplements. For right now, though, I take them to feel better, really. I take fish oil for my skin and because I don't eat fish very often. I take B12 for energy, C for my immune system, and D3 because I'm a vampire. Also, I aim to drink as much water as possible per day. It really helps me sleep better, have more energy, and stay fuller, longer.

Matcha tea:

I'm going on month 4 of not having any coffee. What what. Instead of coffee, I've switched to teas. the main tea I drink now is matcha green tea. Personally, I love coffee. However, my body doesn't respond very well to it. It makes my skin break out, it makes my hormones and mood go all out of whack, and it makes me hit the afternoon slump a more quickly during the day. Matcha is amazing, It tastes good, is pretty cheap, and it's just so much better for my body and mind than coffee ever was. I don't get a caffeine crash like I would with coffee and if you google the health benefits? Oooo. Try it!

Diet: 

Where diet is concerned, I always find that when I eat healthier, or choose better options for myself, I want to workout and vise versa.  I truly do enjoy eating healthier. That isn't to say that I never eat "bad" foods. Of course I do. I still occasionally drink alcohol as well. For me, having a "diet" isn't something that's sustainable. You can tell yourself you'll never eat a cookie again, but how realistic is that? Life happens and food is a part of life. Life is way too short to count calories and worry about eating a slice of pizza with respect to my waistline.

What usually happens is that people restrict their diet: cutting out all carbs, all sugar, all junk food, etc. Then what happens is that once you get a tiny taste of one of those things, you binge and ruin all of your "diet" goals. I know this has happened to me soooo many times. I don't believe in dieting. I don't really believe in cutting out certain foods all together. I believe in eating clean, less processed, foods. Honestly, clean food can taste just as good, if not better than junk. That's why I've included some recipes I love :)

Protein Pancakes:

• 3/4 Cups of oats
• 3/4 Cups of Greek yogurt
• 2 Egg whites
• 1 Teaspoon baking powder
• 1 Scoop any protein powder
• Cinnamon to taste/or vanilla extract
• Any healthy toppings you want! (strawberries, blueberries, dark chocolate chips)

All you do is spray a pan with non-stick cooking spray. Mix all of your ingredients in a bowl, let it sit for about a minute or two. The batter is a bit more runny that traditional pancake batter, so add less batter to the pan at a time so that you don't have a hard time flipping it. Once it bubbles around the edges, you can flip! It tastes a bit drier than a traditional pancake, but if you add fresh fruit on top it really is a beautiful thing.

Herb Chicken:

• Chicken breasts, skinless and boneless (as many as you want)
• Paprika, thyme, garlic powder, salt, pepper, parsley= all to taste

All you do is trim any fat on your chicken, butterfly it to make it a lot easier to cook. Then you just put as much spice on it as you'd like. Once this is done, you can cook it any way you'd like. The last time I made it, I used a George Foreman grill and it came out pretty awesome. I usually pair it with rice and veggies or make a chicken wrap with a tortilla. The options are endless!

Eggs:

You can do literally anything to eggs and they'll most of the time still be a healthy option. I am a huge lover of omelettes. You can use any veggies you have in your fridge that are about to go bad or any left overs you may have and chuck it in. If you're worried about cholesterol in eggs, use only the whites. Or you can do half egg whites and half whole eggs.

Green Smoothie:

• Spinach, large heaping handful
• Frozen fruit of your choice, handful
• One banana
• One serving of Greek yogurt
• One scoop or half a scoop of protein powder
• Water, almond milk, or orange juice
• Matcha tea, one-two table spoons

Chuck it all into a blender with the liquid on the bottom. Blend until smooth and there ya go. You can't even taste the spinach, I swear!

Peanut Butter Banana Toast:

All you do is toast whole wheat bread. Put peanut butter on the bread. Slice up a banana on top. Sprinkle with cinnamon. OH YAS. It's one of my favorite snacks/breakfasts.


More to come on this fitness journey!

Don't forget to breathe!

-Dana

Update: Depression and how to ask for help

I haven’t blogged in quite a while. I’ve been busy with life-type-things. I have really missed writing, though. I find it to be a really good outlet to speak about whatever is on my mind at the moment.

 The last post I wrote about how scared I was about asking for help with possible depression. Since asking for help, I have found out that I do, indeed, have depression. I’ve also learned that asking for help was the best thing I could have done for my depression. Now, before I go any further, I am not writing this blog post for sympathy or to complain—none of that. I’m writing this blog post because one in every five people have some type of mental health concern or condition. If this post is read by just one other person who is depressed, anxious, bi-polar….whatever, then it’s served it’s purpose. 

I’m going to write about my experience with this mental health condition. I don’t like labeling it as a “disorder,” although, that’s how you’ll find most mental health conditions described in text books. Labeling something as a “disorder” makes me feel like I’m “abnormal” as if I am “lesser than” someone else who happens to not have a mental health condition or issue. I feel a lot of others out there struggling can relate to that.

So how did I ask for help?

Well, it was terrifying. Keep in mind, I didn’t think I had depression. I just felt like I was losing my mind. I didn’t feel like myself at all anymore. I didn’t know WHO I was anymore. I asked for help by ways of going to a medical professional. If you read my last post, you’ll know all about my Medicaid struggle to find a mental health provider. My experience with the medical professional….well it wasn’t the best. However I feel it’s still important to share because, well, it happens. Some people, even medically trained, highly educated individuals, don’t see depression as a “thing.”

I went to the doctor and told the nurse as she was taking my vitals that I was coming in because I had been feeling depressed. The nurse told me that there was a social worker on staff and that she’d be in to speak with me before the medical provider came in. I breathed a sigh of relief. I had no idea they had social workers at the facility and I thought, “Finally, I can get real help.”

The social worker was extremely nice and just asked me to describe how I was feeling.

 I listed:

• Exhausted
• Lethargic
• Lack of motivation/concentration
• Aches and pains
• Loss of appetite
• Sleeping too much
• No interest in anything, even things I used to love doing
• Just not feeling like myself

She quietly listened and nodded her head periodically as I explained a few personal life-things as to why I thought I could be feeling this way. After a minute she smiled a gentle smile at me and said, “Well, you just named off all of the most common symptoms of depression. If there was a checklist, you just hit all of the points.”

Even though it was scary to finally have a diagnosis for how I had been feeling for so long, it was also such a relief to know what it was. No, I wasn’t crazy. I just happen to be a person who has depression.

Then. The doctor came in. She ruined it. She kept saying that I was pretty and had no reason to be “sad.” And she said it about 25 times. The ONLY reason I stayed was because of that social worker. She set up a session with me for later that week. I strongly believe that had she not come in before the doctor, I would have gotten up and left without any treatment.

Depression isn’t sadness. It’s not something you simply “snap out of.” Depression doesn’t care how educated you are, what you look like, how much money you have, etc. It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain.  Some people are more pre-disposed to it than others.

I am a person who happens to have major depressive disorder, post traumatic response, and generalized anxiety disorder.

What’s happened since?

I go to regular counseling sessions, bi-weekly, with my social worker. It’s very cognitive-behavioral based. It’s just a fancy way of saying “therapy that changes the way you think about stuff.”

In addition to therapy, I was prescribed an anti-depressant. I’ve been on it for about four months now and it has made a huge difference in my depression. I’m slowly starting to feel myself again and semi-normal. I’ve gotten back to doing the things I like to do, seeing people I love to see, being motivated, laughing more.

This isn’t to say that every day is all sunshine and rainbows. It’s not like that at all. Some days I have to struggle through the motions of all that depression brings. The way I liken it to is running uphill underwater. You struggle so much just to move, it's exhausting, but you keep going. Some days I feel like I’m nearly back to square one with this thing and other days I feel like I’ve got this. For the most part, as of right now, I I've got this.

I plan on peridodically making mental-health related posts because it’s important to me to open up a dialogue on this topic. It’s not a big deal to talk about. If someone had a broken leg or the flu, no one would bat an eye in order to say, “feel better soon.” However, when someone has a mental health issue…it’s somehow “unacceptable” in some eyes.

 Options:

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, please remember that there are always options out there. It may not seem like it at times, but there are. Take me as an example. I thought I was never going to get help because of my health insurance and the insane waiting list as well as the lack of mental health services in my area, among other things. Going to the doctor was just the last thing I had to do in order to get help for myself. I had no idea they would offer me on site counseling and I'm so thankful I'm finally talking to a professional.

In other news: Look for more frequent posts in 2016. It’s a new year and I really want to blog again.

I hope this was helpful.

Don’t forget to breathe.

--Dana 

Reaction Wednesday

For this Reaction Wednesday, I wanted to write about this recent trend I found out about through social media. (I realize today isn't Wednesday, but I really felt passionate about this topic and didn't want to wait until tomorrow.) It's called, "The Belly Button Challenge." At first glance, I didn't read the article attached to the picture. My initial thought was: "Here we go again, another stupid and unattainable body-image-thing." Then I read the article. My thoughts then were: "This is horrifying. Why does this exist? Why are there people who actually think this idea of "healthy" is attainable and actually healthy?"  Yes, some individuals are naturally thin and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Go you! You're beautiful! However, implying or explicitly stating that those who cannot do this challenge successfully are unhealthy?

Completely not okay.

Image found on google

I've read a few articles on it and I'll link them all at the end of this post. However, the one thing a lot of these articles have in common is that they tend to agree with my own thought process. Even with a "scientific study" emerging with confirmation that you MUST be able to do this stupid challenge other wise you're nothing or unhealthy--all the articles I read thought just about the same about this challenge as I do. First of all, what is this "Belly Button Challenge?" Well, it's taking your hand, wrapping it around your back and seeing if you can reach around to touch your belly button (as seen in image on right). Sounds as insane as it actually is, doesn't it? I do not and will probably never understand how these crazy "health" or body image "ideals" get started in the first place. I read an article that likened this "craze" to the thigh-gap-body-image-ideal...it's just not attainable and completely unrealistic for most human beings. 

Reaching your belly button in a weird position does not make you a healthy person. You know what does? Let me list, shall I?

1. Eating clean or trying to eat a balanced/healthy-ish diet
2. Doing light to moderate exercise a few times a week
3. How's your cholesterol/blood pressure/vitamin and mineral levels/etc.?
4. Taking a look at your mental health
5. Looking at the people you choose to surround yourself with
6. If you are truly happy/fulfilled or can find moments of this in your life
7. NOT being able to touch your belly button in an odd position

I could not locate this "scientific" research anywhere on the internet and it is supposedly a study done in the U.S. I would like to know the parameters of this research. Who was in and/what was the sample size like? Who were the researchers? What were their credentials? I could not locate any of this anywhere. What I did find out was that a lot of celebrities, especially those in China, are posing  and posting images of themselves completing this challenge. They claim that if you are unsuccessful that you're unhealthy and/or need to lose weight. This is perhaps the most dangerous thing, I think.

Even without the celebrity factor, this thing this MONSTER has spread across social media like a wild fire. One should think about how many young (and younger than you may like to think about) individuals are viewing this and thinking they're not good enough the way they are because of this challenge. Even when I consider my initial reaction to this, I remember thinking, "Whoa, I know I can't do that. Maybe I should work out more." 

This is how powerful social media or the media in general can be. Imagine a young woman or man who already may have self-esteem or body-image issues/doubts seeing this challenge? Perhaps, even, this person doesn't have the capacity or maturity level, developmental-wise, to research it such as I have done and others. Ugh, the thought alone is terrifying. It makes me scared to have children of my own one day who will look at things like this or worse. 

Bottom line, please do not let things like this challenge define you or how you feel about yourself or your body. It's insanity and really has NO research behind it whatsoever. If there was, it would have been publicly...well published. Here's to the "Who can eat the most sushi challenge"(one I'd enter in a heartbeat), or the "Make a Green Smoothie You Like Challenge," or the "Feel Good in Your Own Skin Challenge" (again, a heartbeat).

How about a challenge that doesn't bring some people up while bringing others WAY down? Huh?
Anyway, what do you think about the belly button challenge? Let me know in the comments!

Articles read/research:
Hello Giggles
ABC News
Daily Mail
Health.com

Link to my blog post about body image:
Clickity Click

Don't forget to breathe.
--Dana

Yoga

I wanted to write a blog about yoga...but I'm not an expert "Yogi," or whatever you want to call it. I've been doing yoga for about two years now and, to be honest, I don't do it every single day. There's times where I'm too tired or just don't have the time to fully commit to a yoga practice. However, as of recently, I've fallen back in love with yoga.

Mind-Body-Connection

I'm not the most flexible, most athletic, or most fit person...but yoga really helps me feel better; body and mind. For me, yoga isn't about getting into the "perfect" pose you may see on a magazine cover or something. It means exploring and finding what feels the best for your own body, where it is, in

whatever moment you're in. Since I've started yoga, I have almost no back pain. In fact, back pain was the reason I decided to try out yoga in the first place. I've even started to notice small differences in my knee pain as well. It's amazing!

Yoga is NOT, by any means, an "easy" work out. It so isn't. I think the longest yoga work out I've done has been about 45 minutes, and that's with breaks in between hard poses. Yoga reminds me to be gentle with myself and the thoughts I have about myself. For example, I may think, "God, Dana. You can't even get into this pose. What's wrong with you?!" But then, I'll gently remind myself that I get better every time I step onto my yoga mat. There's nothing wrong with not being able to have the "perfect" tree pose (or any other pose...tree is just particularly difficult for me).

Once I've reminded myself of this, I can carry on this same notion of 'being gentle with myself,' throughout the rest of my day. For instance, if I'm in a social situation and am embarrassed just by my own awkward-self, I try to remind myself that I'm perfectly fine the way I am, awkwardness and all.

In fact, my boyfriend even says that's kind of why he loves me.
Now everybody at once: 1, 2, 3..."Awwwwwwwwwwh."

Spirituality/Mindfulness

I'm not religious, by any means. It's not to say that having a religion/faith/organization/etc. isn't a good thing-- I believe it can be for some people.  Although I don't have a set, organized religion that I follow, I do believe in spirituality. Yoga helps me to connect to that spiritual-side, especially in those quiet or resting moments where I can really sink into a pose or focus on my breath. 

Sometimes it can be something as simple as placing my hands together at my heart, closing my eyes, and breathing deeply. Sometimes when I do this, I feel better connected and grounded to this crazy thing we call life. I feel calmer, more motivated, and even happier. I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be when I finish a yoga practice; that I'm better equipped to live life in the moment. 

Yoga also reminds me to be mindful. The entire practice seems to be focused around being aware of the ground beneath your feet (and at times, hands), feeling the blood pump through your heart, feeling your breath move through you and help guide your practice. All of these things are encouraging in order to be more mindful, both in yoga practice and outside of it. 

For example, even if I come into contact with a rude person in my day, I remind myself that there has to be a reason that person is that way. It probably isn't anything I've done and nothing I can control, but he or she is carrying an invisible load on their back that no one else can see. Of course I get annoyed at rude people, I'm only human. However, I try to remind myself to be mindful of what that person may be going through. It helps with how I choose to react to that person.

Mood

Yoga sometimes can make a bad day turn into a good one. Or at the very least, it can help make a bad day not suck quite as much. My mood can sometimes dramatically improve when I do yoga. I like to

do yoga first thing in the morning, not a heavy or particularly long session, but yoga nonetheless. It helps wake me up and get my body and mind moving, ready to start the day. It can even do the opposite of this, help me to relax so I can get to sleep. I always have loved doing a relaxation/unwinding/ etc. yoga practice before bed, especially if I'm stressed out or anxious. Not only am I better able to fall asleep, but the sleep is deeper and more restful.

Speaking about anxiety, yoga is amazingggg for anxiety. As I said before, it helps to connect me to my breath and push away any negative thoughts, especially those that are aimed at myself. I find my anxiety likes to do that a lot, give my brain thoughts that deal with: shame, guilt, belittling, doubt, etc...and those thoughts are all aimed at my abilities to do certain tasks in life. I know none of them are true, but sometimes it's hard to remember that when the anxiety-monster is in full swing. Yoga definitely helps my brain calm down and I don't feel as panicked when I'm able to breathe, I mean really breathe. 

Goals For Myself

Again, I'm not a professional "yogi" or "yoga-master." In fact, some of the things yoga can express at times, like sticking out your tongue and breathing like a lion (it's a real thing, google it), is just too weird for me. But for the most part, I absolutely love what yoga has done for my life.  One day, I'd love to be able to do really cool yoga poses like a wheel barrel pose or even some inversion poses.

I'm just not there yet, and that's okay. Hell, I'd be happy if I could get my feet all the way to the mat when I practice downward facing dog. My main goal for yoga is to just keep at it. To not forget how good it makes me feel when I'm doing it and when I'm finished.

Here are some yoga videos I love:

Yoga with Adriene: Morning Sequence

Yoga with Adriene: Sun Salutation Practice

Yoga with Adriene: Stress Relief

Tara Stiles: Yoga Weight Loss and Balance Workout

Tara Stiles: Relaxing Bedtime Yoga

There's a lot more, but Youtube is an amazing resource for anyone interested in yoga. Just type whatever yoga routine you want, chances are, there's a video for it!

Don't forget to breathe.

--Dana