Friday, June 5, 2015

Mindful Friday

My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years. I can't speak for him, but he is literally my rock. He makes me happy, helps me when I'm feeling anxious or doubtful, and he's just an amazing person. The last few days, he was pretty sick. He's had symptoms like this before, but this time around they were a lot more serious. A lot more scary too see, too. I have never felt so helpless in any situation before this. Here's this person I love more than anything in this world, and he's feeling so crummy and miserable...and I can't do a damn thing about it.

He ended up going to the hospital for tests and everything, which all turned out negative or normal (thank goodness).  I can't even put into words how grateful I am that he seems to be doing better and that there's nothing major or serious happening to him.

The whole experience was completely eye-opening, though.  It reminded me of how crazy and just effed life can be--and out of no where. You never know when something like sickness is going to happen and how something so simple can disrupt your every day routine. One minute I was texting him about watching Buffy, the next minute I found out he was being admitted over night to the hospital (scary shit). I also learned that hospitals (at least the one we had) suck, that you have to advocate for yourself and your loved one if you want to get anywhere.  I found out that my boyfriend and I both have some amazing friends and family out there who called, texted, face-booked, etc. good wishes and wanted to know how he was.

You all are amazing.

More than anything, this whole experience is a true reminder of how much I care and love this other human being. How much I needed to be there for him, even if it just meant waiting around with him while he slept in an uncomfortable hospital bed.  Even if it meant just going out and buying him Swedish fish or some chicken nuggets, getting him an ice pack to help him feel just slightly better. It reminds me that I care so so soooo much about him and I know he cares just as much about me as well.

Everything's okay right now and I'm feeling very thankful for him and for the rest of his family, friends, and I that he's okay. I also have a feeling that this entire ordeal has strengthened the already strong bond Ryan and I have together. I really feel like we can overcome anything, right now ; )

Don't forget to breathe.

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