For this Mindful Friday I wanted to focus on something that I've been struggling with a lot lately. I'm not a very insecure person, but I do have insecurities when it comes to certain things in life; as does everyone else. I've been trying to do a lot for myself lately. More than finding a job/purpose as a 'real' adult and recent college graduate, I've been trying to work on things within myself. One of those things is getting close to others. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, one of those many insecurities I have is being around new people or becoming friends with someone else.
I fear rejection. I have issues. Sue me.
I've mentioned this before in previous posts, but I really do love people and I love being around people as well. This doesn't mean I'm not shy around new or new-er people, though. I completely am. I get insecure about what a person who I want to be my friend, for instance, will view me if I say the wrong thing. I'm insecure about my inborn awkwardness that makes me trip and spill things very easily. I'm also insecure about what if this person lets me down in someway or rejects me? I have issues, sue me.
I've really been trying to 'ease into the discomfort' of meeting new people though. I've been trying this even with people I've known for a few months or years but don't hang out with very often because of conflicting work schedules and what not. It's not an easy thing to do: open yourself up to new social situations and either new or kind-of-new people. At least it's not for me.
It really confuses me because, again I love being around people. And it also confuses me because I'm awesome at interacting with people in a professional/work/internship environment...even really difficult to handle individuals/situations. When it comes to asking someone I don't really hang out with to do something? Nope. My brain just shuts down and I dissolve into an awkward-nervous-mess. How have I avoided this mess? By simply not asking others to hang out (hah).
I really want to change this, though. I want friends. Because that's what normal humans want. I'm not saying I'm going to go out to parties and drink and everything; that never was and never will be me. I AM saying that I'm going to make a conscious effort to text, call, Facebook, and more to ask acquaintances or even newer friends/people in my life to hang out more.
The worst that can happen is that the person will say no, right? I'm also going to challenge those of you out there who have the same making-friends-issue to do the same. Lean into the comfort zone limit and try it! You won't be alone and if you have any questions/advice/concerns...comment down below and we can get a dialogue going!
Don't forget to breathe.